Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 48

BetaRish is...

Genies and bottles don’t rub along well together

I hear the wives singing

Turntabalism, the only religion you need


I should update you

Juggle juggle not dropped yet

Here we go again

Yesterday: get caffeine dose wrong  Today: pray for sleep

Napoleon Pop!

Three People On A Social Network

Danger Here, and his close colleague, Man On

And the start comes around again

Poetry transfer deadline day: which form will swoop in for me before 11pm?

Orange leaves are go

Paper jam days

It’s gonna be a backwards steps kinda day

PowerPoint thinking

is empty of epigrams

Theory of sleep --> application of sleep

Slide into my thoughts

French-tech-client-induced hysteria has begun

Eugene Onegin but with a backup NFL quarterback

A learned colleague has described my new haircut as making me look like a ‘cheeky little woofer’. This is pleasing

The ‘been on a project too long’ blues

Notebook juggling a/k/a too many projects

“Life in speechmarks”

My feed is filled by the joy of poets. Which is pretty joyous

Sometimes it rains in September

Yes, you are very welcome to rewrite things three days after the print deadline

Second busiest day of the year for the poets…

*rain* *sigh* *rain*

What use a jester in times of fire?

Automatic against the people

Hello tickly throat, my old friend

It appears most of the last 14 years of my emotional life has been soundtracked by Four Tet

Latency is as latency…

And then we dance

Man cannot live by flat white and Danish pastry alone? Hold my cup

Today will mostly be brought to you by *yawns*

Today, listening is solidarity

Packing, forgetting

poem [negation of poem]

is on the scale

New just in: ‘diversity’ isn’t a trend

*Moar ideas!*

Dig if you will the picture

is perfecting the stutter juggle

I think God’s trying to tell me to give up writing anything on a machine. FFS


Monday, August 07, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 47

BetaRish is...

What, no board games?

Hell OS update my old friend

The process is the process is the dear lord we’re doing this voting thing again?

Call it come back

Words – trickier blighters than you think

What if the universe is made of elastic?

Let it go, get it back

is strong and stable like an IKEA table

Hurry up Mercury

is efficient in his inefficiency

Trickster holds the centre

is already ducking the flak

Quick, call The One Show! The body politic ails again

is a Lord of Light

Where did Spring go?

There were some ideas here, once

is the Google Doc of your dreams

Oh travel, thy sting is much


Not that it means much, but I am thinking of dancing as rebellion, hedonism as a way of grief, and how we must nurse our candles. We may flicker but we shall not go out. Because there will be joy again, one day. And we will dance together

Is it summer? Can we call it?

Oh, you want something that isn’t on the brief by yesterday?

has been USB shanghai’d

Imagine if the meme was multiplication

Has everyone bunked off?

When pride is too wide to fit the room

And the realm unravels a little more

The need for Squalorship

Plot, plan, plot, plan

à hair-triggers

Sometimes, the surface is all that matters

The itchy nervousness of not having work email on the phone

is in search of utopia again

The edgy nervousness of everyone else is putting me on edge

Sharp sharp! The week the week!

Bubbles are power

The ideas, the desire… now just waiting for the time to show up

The network is working in nets

it’s blue in London; not a French blue, but it’ll do

My kingdom for a hamburger

The storm doesn’t clear the sky

Zero sum art doesn’t add up

is minimal, viable

Heavy legs

Ti amo

is higgling and bargaining

Do you remember?

Whither my lists?


Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 46

BetaRish is...

I’m here; just sleeping after my walk in to the office

Franchise me

January spawns a monster

thinks he’s done pushing water uphill

The phrase has gone

is lacking a hat today

needs to wield the pen again

…nope, nothing to go here…

The process is the process

Ah the days when caffeine won’t remotely be enough

is genuinely genuine

The edge is sharp

Pen into battle again

is releasing balloons

Fevers are rubbish

Meeting and plotting with Nathalie Teitler is the best tonic when you’ve been ill

Well, the walk to the office from the station was a bit tiring

Happy Day of Ventricle Martyrs!

The sleep is strong with this one

The phrase will come


is failing to be elegant

Shall we begin?

And then the ghosts left

is waiting for the contacts and the privilege

is wondering whether he has the right envelope

Squid goals: tentacles of fun

WARNING: phrase bank empty

Start > run > validation

Why aren’t odd numbers uneven numbers?

To battle to save an idea, again

Frag / ments

Circumstances have moved on

is about to get thrown under the bus again

I was reading ‘Wittgenstein’s Mistress’ on a silent staircase, and the world started roaring in my ears

If no one can find you, no one can miss you

The weather withers whatever

Back at the desk with a bump

reboot, rewrite

Acquis no more

is on frequent seas only I can hear

is prepping for one of those weeks

has outrage to spare, if you have a topic to froth about

would like it to be a grasshopper day

is making no grand claims

is waiting for the tiler (not a euphemism)

needs to be himself

You conference, I call


Friday, January 06, 2017

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 45

BetaRish is...

C’mon, did you put liberalism behind the sofa? Can’t find it anywhere

Let slip the kittens of poetry!

is debunked

And then time, it must have it’s tithe

This morning a flat white saved my life

is querulous

has been walking in the rain just to get wet on purpose

And then the start came again

will be waiting with a trident and a pint of prawns

Pop went my back; oh how my heart sank

And time has slipped its leash again

Are we talking about the battle of Agincourt?

The nation demands I make a gesture at this time

is a fabulous confabulist

is all the Xs, all the Os

is contemplatin’

And in your dreams did you see this?

The road to A50 just got more twisty

What’s huge if true? An elephant lie detector

Combat the wombat

is liberal with liberality

Look look look Like like like

is rolling, rocking, almost falling over

is more sneeze than person

Caffeine beating sleep; in other news crash predicted around 2pm

To the wedding!

is false space

is winning at spatio-temporal sports

and there will be dancing in the light

Thank you all for the birthday wishes – you’ve all been most kind

is transformative like a cape

Once again, the year reaches its end with its foot on the accelerator

I am the gold of the black sun

Into the valley of tissue meetings I go

dot dash dot dash

My brain would like you to know it is functioning on all of the caffeine and none of the sleep

is level 5 on the iPhone storage management game

Oh what a Monday-ish Monday

is seeking the end of the mountain

I appear to have lost the ability to comb my hair

One more deadline

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals

has cooked eggs royale and carbonara today, and now will be asleep if you need him

I have a cat on my lap, a glass of Nyetimber and a book of poetry. 2016 ends well indeed. Happy New Year y’all

Someone left the office air con on ‘chill’ over the holidays

January – meh made real