Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 42

BetaRish is...

Right, into battle again

I have all the jargon, but no words

Could be Austerlitz today, could be Trafalgar

This glimmer could be the Hundred Days

Cold hands, cold words

is looking at life through a bigger screen

Off we go again

needs to invent a new category

He’s back; we’re waiting to see what he does next

Yes, I’m bored of me ranting too

Here we go again

Don’t want to jinx it, but might have escaped

What is balance?

is deghosting

When a wink becomes a twitch

will win this week

is in the mitigation space

Pitch pitch, pitch pitch

is a modern form of hysteria

will predict the future tomorrow

has a care for your soul

would really like to live in a screwball comedy

Plans are probably provisional. Plays palava with professionalism

is ‘Reality+’

is difference splitting

To take poetry seriously is to be ridiculous; but to treat poetry as ridiculous is to not take yourself seriously

Here we go, on we go, off we go, go go go

The leap is all

will cuddle dragons today

is how we chill in ‘93

The world is my book

is deconstructing deconstruction

So, to run up the energy peak again

is swooning at balloonists

is dividing the final part in two

Lit crit makes you hip to the trip before you zip, you dig?

Make it, break it, fix it, go

I assume that the assumptions are the assumptions

Pep-to Fussball gives the Old Lady heartburn

The future of money requires time as a sacrifice

Pay with a Poet day

is abstracted

will shill for Giphy

is A/B testing his life

Start again, again

Glory > power

Juggle is the struggle

*’vent about clients’ post*. And yes, I am breathing deeply


Monday, January 18, 2016

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 41

BetaRish is...

Happy National Poetry Day! / As all the poets say / And when their rhymes run dry / They lie down and have a cry

is spinning his wheels

knows there’s a tickle there

is waiting for controllable heat

is the meaning

What if the future doesn’t arrive tomorrow?

is worth 1.21 jigawatts

is missing playtime

might have over-solved his hunger problem this morning

is back at the digital coalface, undertaking his eternal task, attempting to fill infinity

So apparently, infinity still needs filling!

The dance is always on the edge of ending, and starting again

Take it up? Or bring it down?

How you doin’?

is all swing tags and racing rhythms

is both scandal and crisis

The schismatic numismatics are frantic with antic panics

But what of the beginning?

Doesn’t have a most used word

And the wolf said, “What every month? That’s a bit of a chore.”

What’s all this then?

is eight lines and a turn

says “Delayed emails are prophetic”

is just no then yes

Thank you so much for all your birthday wishes and good cheer. You’re all marvellous

is the king of his destiny

is concepting around the concept of concepts

is an inuksuk

Build, build and build again

London is coloured grey today

is a self-facilitating node in the link verse

The floor awakens

Really, truly, most sincerely, wishes the year was over already

The rush continues

is hand-working his angst about capitalism, for that true socio-economic artisanal flavour

is putting his faith in the motherlode

Happy Christmas vibes!

Lovely to plot and scheme for 2016 and beyond with Nathalie Teitler

Happy New Year from me. A growl from my back. Ow

The canal is quiet this morning; my desk is less so

Meetings are beating me down

Still incoming!

is still missing his fountain pen

The Starman ascends

The break is broken

And on we go

Shoot crazy

If anyone can advise of a career where one doesn’t come into contact with megalomanical blowhards as clients, I’d be very grateful


Friday, October 09, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 40

BetaRish is...

is a culture of volume

“Finally meeting my Austerlitz!” “Benny, I’m not sure that works.”

Summer slips away again

is all pixels and notifications

Dance dance dance to the ad-supported streaming service

is all of the filter

Last day of this view

First day vibes

The breeze is waiting to emerge

is an armful

is a man of infinite desires

is a new wave synth pop macro economist

Time is water

Made it

is by another canal

Did St Swithin have anything to say about humidity?

is trying to get out from behind the cue ball

Burble bibble boom

is adrift on an ever-changing sea of schedules

is in the office on a Friday shocker

is off to charm school again

is of the view that 8am client meetings are wrong

Old soul, new shoes

Whither the bassoon?

Emily Hasler’s status updates through this morning’s innings are my favourite Ashes commentary of the summer so far

A = A, eh?

is an elegant choice of font

has an A-level in remembering

It might be time for a fine tune

is an impermanent fixture on the landscape

And then we begin as we end

…and time stretched out, knowing it wouldn’t fit in its uniform any more

Summer cold imminent

…and of course the sun comes out the day after a bank holiday…

Power is as power does

is not reigning anywhere

has a world-class talent for worrying

has it if you want it oh yeah check it out

is building a bunker

is as easy to dislodge as an Australian prime minister

is still not the whole hog

is professional ashes

Still has his Equinox cold

had a phrase, and now its gone

is going forward with his forward-looking plan to go to the Forward Prizes for Poetry this evening

is a proponent of Uncreative Facebook

was a candidate for something

Oh what? Oh, that.


Sunday, September 06, 2015

A busy week

of poetic and other related blatherings from me. In case you missed them, and frankly, I nearly did:

A new poem at Visual Verse

A new piece for issue 2 of LossLit

A new poem for the Writers for Calais Refugees project

An interview with Nothing In The Rule Book

...and a new poem for them too.

I should probably go for a period of purdah now.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Poetry: The Rialto 83 launch

Come and celebrate issue 83 of The Rialto making it into the world, and the graduation of me and Holly from the Rialto / Poetry School editorial development programme. Joining us to read some of their work will be: Jake Campbell, John Clegg, Katie Griffiths, Alyson Hallett, Emily Hasler, Hannah Lowe, Alex MacDonald and Rachel Piercey. Do hope you can be there too.

Wednesday 22 July, 7.30pm
The King & Queen, 1 Foley Street, London, W1W 6DL

Free, but we'll be passing round a hat for donations to Macmillan Cancer Support.


Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 39

What's on your mind, BetaRish?

My eclipse is complete

is washing his face in your sink

The trouble with me is just water under the bridge

is the fight you came for

Mouth, bad taste etc

is dissolved like a parliament

Look up. What do you see?

is a fool with a feel for foolish behaviour

Where’s my Maundy purse then?

Hello desk
Wiggle the niggles away with a giggle
I am mostly snot, Lemsip, coughs and jetlag
kay, whatabout amirite?  
*mic drop* *crane bounce*
is an armful
is touch about some previous comments he made eight years ago
has found treachery in his perfidy
Mither, muckle, mizzle do
is a delinquent descendent of late 80s Belgian dance music’s hybrid aesthetic
Where’s me red flag?
goes to quiet places to make his brain loud
is a template for data analysis
Vote early, vote often &c
has not been shuffled
is in debate with delectable
is looking up
until the end
*thinks* *feels* *stop thinking*
wotcha gonna promise me this time?
is a dream of a setting sun
is trying to carpe his diems
is all and nothing
Here we are, here we are in my Paisley Underground crib
You can only step into the river of data with a spreadsheet
is a blazer
is a vellum parchment
For a short week, this has been a long week
remains stunned that June could ever be considered flaming
is all the way back to then beginning again
is on time for being late
is dancing to Marquee Moon
is hyperlexic
is filling in boxes
asked, and is still waiting to get
lacks the necessary temporal conditions
is waiting for the great leap forward
is spearheading your public radio station’s membership drive
has forgotten what the question is but knows the answer is Yes


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

A Longing Look: me on R.E.M.

Delighted to have made my debut, over on Medium, for new publication A Longing Look, where I am wittering on about R.E.M.'s 'E-Bow the Letter'. Go read, tell all your friends etc.

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Thursday, March 19, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 38

BetaRish (is)...

is inside the outside

has crinkled

can’t help it

is lazily humorous and lightly amiable

is of the persuasion

is all focaccia and trapezes

is a loose wire in an induction hob

Oh good grief why are you boring me in this way?

Pop the champagne

Why are the mercies always small?

is being overwhelmed by his ludic tendencies

is singing you to shipwreck

has been appointed by Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel

Always Be Citrus

is drafting ‘Notes on yearning’

has been booted by the reboots

Man needs to be told

is dipping the cranes

Bring on the dancing sharks!

is mostly vitamin C

is snaffled

is subject to the Maxwellisation process

is on hold for jabs

is the actual condition

has failed to respect artistry again

Just surfaced from the sickbed

has a new view

is both sign and referent

is all plots and plans


is not suffering from Statuettegate

Sweet talk like candy rots teeth

is mostly a product of his teenage soundtrack

The big wheel keeps on turning

misses C90s

And all this I’ve done for you

The present is past, as is the future

is using his personal account for communications

is available for merchandising opportunities

No space on the G drive

fears that the powers that be don’t like paper

gives you permission to copy this groove

I think the pollen is lying in wait for me

Too much flak

is the national bird

has been up here, for almost too long

…nope, nothing doing…

is a correspondent


Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Poetry: Rhyme for the Tube competition

Most of you Londoners and/or regular Tube users will have no doubt seen the lovely rhyming posters exhorting everyone else – because your etiquette is perfect – to be that ever bit more considerate of your fellow travellers.

Think you can do better, with your spondees and dactyls actually changing people's behaviour? Well, here's your chance.

Pick one of the those things that narks you about travelling on the Tube: people scoffing smelly food, talking too loudly on their phones, you know the drill. Then write a short rhyming poem about it, and why people jolly well shouldn't do it.

The winning poem will not only end up emblazoned on posters right across the network, but the winning poet's fizzog will also feature in the cartoon in said posters too.

Need inspiration? Here's one I just cranked out:

"On the escalator, don't stop on the left
As those walking down will be bereft.
You won't have to do anything grand:
Just move to the right if you'd like to stand."

Of course you can do better. Jump to it! More details in the poster below, and full info at the #travelbetterlondon tumblr.


Monday, February 16, 2015

Poetry: Lawyering &c

ICYMI, my latest blog for the Poetry School as part of my Rialto editorial development programme, ruminating on how one might build a case for a poem you might like to publish.