Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 37

What's on your mind (BetaRish)?


The lamps never go out on social media

is an extended preamble


is struggling with remoteness, access


is tousled of mane


lacks a usable phrase for this slot


is a series of watery adjectives


The clowns have it hardest


is a silo-buster


1914 called. It wants its geopolitical instability back


has a knickerbocker and doesn’t know what to do with it


is readying his album of sentimental presentiments


Always good to bump into Beth Emmens in Hammersmith, plotting world domination


Will you still love a man out of time?


is quiet, and the good citizen is happy


is trying to discourage frivolous Facebooking, especially by servants


is dodging the inevitable


Bouncy bouncy run stop


is practising his forward defensive


is he?


is making hard lemonade


is the results of love and wine


is a dromomaniac


has been today he hasn’t filled this bit in


Crank, squeak, grind, pffut. That’d be my back saying hello


is a haptic interface


Whither the weather? Whatever


Tell you what


I wrote for luck


is still contemplating a riot after The Riot Club


Hello democracy!


Fag-packet constitution? Or the back of an envelope job?


Destiny thy name is Scone


is living in a Buster Keaton movie today


But what was decided?


This bird is waddling


Wishes J. Alfred a happy birthday


Bend and flex, flex and bend


Taste is on the tongue of the beholder


and the blue eagle blues


r u gonna poem doe? #nationalpoemday


is a house of tine and timber


Oh man, nervous already


Well, on we go


is being tidal


[insert rant about senior management types here]


Not sure emojis are widening my vocabulary


is now being followed by a black sheep


has failed to do this today


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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Commercial: Continuous partial argument

Also known as some thoughts about the future of copywriting by me, now available over at Medium.

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Friday, September 12, 2014

Poem: Strategies to save the Union

Published over here.

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Tuesday, September 02, 2014

#destroyedthings

For those who have been following this sorta thing over on Twitter, you can now see a complete list of the things that social media is destroying over on tumblr.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Poetry: Telltale Press launch

No doubt I'll tell you about this again in due course, but I'm delighted to be reading at the launch of the Telltale Press on Wednesday 1st October at the Poetry Cafe in Covent Garden. Full details on the flyer. Tell all your friends etc.


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Monday, August 11, 2014

Poetry: The Complete Works launch event

You will get bored of me going on about this over the next couple of weeks. But for now: book early! Book often! Etcetera!

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Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Poetry: Two new ones at And Other Poems

I've been on a but of a roll at the mo. Here's another two new ones, published under the good auspices of And Other Poems. Enjoy.


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Tuesday, August 05, 2014

A preamble for a new constitution

You might not have noticed it, but there's a competition currently running, which gives you the chance to write a preamble to a new, modern, written constitution.

You can read my entry here – I'm posting it as I was slightly more tongue in cheek than honourably jurisprudential in tone, so I doubt it'll make the final cut.

You should have a go and enter though. Full details over on the Parliament website.

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Friday, August 01, 2014

Poetry: The Stare's Nest

In case you missed 'em yesterday, I was lucky enough to have three poems published over at The Stare's Nest. You can read 'em over that way, as well as many other fine, optimistic, uplifting ones.


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Thursday, July 31, 2014

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 35

BetaRish (is)....

will be a caliph for an hour

is analogue first


is a corporate mascot, fluffily unthreatening


is democracy’s handmaiden


is a rolling boil, waiting for the potatoes


is a different form of efficiency


is a heady mix of scents, flavours and textures


is a bundle of issues, available at one low price


is back at the wordface


is proposing the loyal address


never gets the calibration between silly and stupid right


End of a lovely day in Nottingham. Holly is the best tour guide


is inculcating bad things into young minds


You Shall Know Me By My Radius Of Croissant Flakes


is primed


is kickoff ready


Triskadiskaphobics Utd 0 – 1 Sunshine Rovers


is the rain coming down in a New England town


is the flowing lines of a distinguished AW14 collection


would make a very fine prime minister of Luxembourg


has weak eyes


is an irrepressible engine of wants


is a victim of the federation’s unexpected success


suspects London is emptying


Why always someone else?


is rueing the absence of kickball today


Every ghost story is a drinking story


Relevance, where is thy sting?


Happy Successful Insurrection and Dodging Tax Payment Day America!


is impossibly probable, or possibly improbable


Oh really?


You spend a lifetime waiting for a match like that. And you miss it, because you’re watching a film at the cinema.


is hoping for a smooth, continuous workflow


You spend a lifetime watching matches like that. And you keep watching, in the hope it will be like last night’s match. And it never is


Lowering skies, increasing headache


My Facebook is all angles and Saxons right now


is looking to be last to market


is lacking a portfolio


Hot in the city


is hiding from heat, thunder, sleep


is fluttering, flittering, futzing


One could, one supposes, one could


And then we came to the beginning


The pink fizz has fizzed me out. I blame Laura Herrod


Espresso hasn’t touched the sides


is diaphanous, mostly


is really overthinking it today


Lf wtht vwls sn’t wth t