Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Saturday, February 08, 2020

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 55

BetaRish (is)...

lurch yikes lurch >> my stomach upon seeing my to-do list

Loops of duty

Soaked boots, wet socks

Time is a killer too

Can you be addicted to pastry? Asking for no one near this keyboard oh no

I’ve started reading a book called ‘Be More Pirate’, and my initial reaction is, why can’t it be ‘Be More Trash Panda’?

The promise of printers > The reality of printers as he reboots yet again

Pondering ‘The Tank Bowl’

If you find a thread, let me know, as I appear to have lost mine

Work dreams

Here we are again

I remember when it was dry

I woke up with a bounce in my step; pretty sure that was due to the fabulous news of Bernardine Evaristo winning the Booker Prize last night. An inspirational win – now let’s all be brilliant, do more, and crash more parties

Less than 12 hours between leaving the office and being back at the office is...
Do you want to be right? Do you want to change minds? Do you want to win? << three interlocking questions I’m thinking about this morning

The silence is loud today

Keep going

Do you make the patterns regular, or leave them be?

It’s always a brimstone, and never an emptystone

jigger jigger jigger

Call Me By My Ballot

Every Brexit Story is a ghost story

November spawned a shower

Verboten is verboten

Do me a favour today please: keep going, keep fighting – if you don’t back yourself, no one else will

And then we came to another beginning

Niche leaders, sally forth narrowly

spinning / whirling / spinning / whirling

Sleep begats more sleep

Check yo’ facts (and the political party that claims to be rebutting ‘em)

It is what it isn’t

Even an unfinished poem tells a truth, once

Thanks for the birthday wishes – you’re all marvellous. Even you

6 more days

the wide wave to the far future

Vote early etc etc

Shake & Shake

Proposal: rewrite of Auden’s ‘The Orators’ as ‘The Wreckers’

back at the desk

No, no epiphanies yet

What did you last win, and when?

Usually drink, usually dance, usually bubble

Hello hello I see the elites are claiming the people with less power are the elites again

Breach, once more, etc

Indifference is a superpower

Pin your ears back and run towards your anger. Behind it is change

This might be the only time I surface this week so…

This is the real of my wildest dream


Sunday, September 15, 2019

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 54

BetaRish (is)...

Life is boxes

Oh hai connectivity (oh hai office)

Oge he’s like Ed Reardon. But not funny

Hot Property on BBC Three is my new favourite thing

Have decided that, were I ever to appear  on BBC Three, it would be under the name ‘yung dasti’

Maybe I’m just a chatbot made flesh

For those of you who need to hear it: keep going

Waiting like an angry ghost

Change of direction, my neck

Libras in your pocket

Jump back; hop forward

My new forever comeback: “THAT’S JUST WORDS FROM A PERSON.”

Sleep or sun in my eyes, can’t tell.

Is ‘Floof FC’ an acceptable name for a fantasy Premier League team?

Truth detection is a full-time job

What does ‘winning’ to mean to you?

Just checking: England’s men won a cricket world cup yesterday? I didn’t dream it?

The world is being the world again

Oh well summer, you were good while you lasted

order today putting is words in difficult

Big trees, little forest

I look forward to the sequel of London Has Fallen, London is Melting

As strong as a melting rail today

I’m not allowed to complain about the rain today, am I?

Change the world through breakfast

“What are you doing today?” “Arting.”

...oh, one of those days you say?

Very well, then. Begin.

Summer colds eh? How unexquisite

All of a whirr

A whirr of all

Frag/ments of mo/ments

When you wake up you will find me

‘sinspiration’ << what you need when you can’t think of anything bad to do

One good evening can really last a year

Is this a shot in the information war?

Words! Come fast this week please!

Admin is bondage, isn’t it? Except less fun

What do loops do to straighten themselves out?

The devil always pops up claiming he is amoral, and that the problem wasn’t the box but Pandora

Low concept, high thrills

Brexit as a tirrit

La Rentrée

The forever grey starts today

“Busy, too busy.” – What I will say to you for the next three weeks, with apologies for the repetition

Wittgenstein’s Mistress but for the last person on Facebook

Waiting in the cafe at work, my eye turns to the screen where a music video is playing; it is subtitled, and at that moment, the caption reads: “[escapism escalating]”. I wish you that kind of day

Sunday night 'should-write-can't-write-can't-bear-to-listen-to-Washington-playing-Dallas' conundrums


Saturday, May 18, 2019

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 53

BetaRish is...

Too much work and not enough time…

Have reached the level of tiredness where my eyes are struggling to focus

Dull jewel, inactive fire

*deep breath* Here we go again

...just held my breath for three hours

Switched on dark mode

Defense wins championships

You can tell what sort of place I’m in, as I started reading ‘Bluets’ again this morning

Wit fades without use

I wrote a poem! I wrote a poem!

What, I can’t have another 12 hours in bed?

Reboot, reboot

To his coy facebookers

*puffs cheeks out* One more heave

Non-poetry bump

My eyes! My eyes! etc

Hug > Scold

Why isn’t motivation linked to rising inflation?

Strike a match

I was the past once

You know when you look at your to-do list and laugh? That

Remind me not to talk about poetic technique on other platforms…

Giving up Thin Wednesday

something something [object] something

The closer we get to 29th March the worse my headache gets

on it goes

‘The empty box’ doesn’t have as much of a ring as ‘the empty page’ does it?

In the future we will all be awake deep into the night, reading books about why we can’t sleep

The act we act is wearing thin

Why won’t someone pay me to sit around and read?

Oh pollen, up somebody else’s!

Universal Basic Reparations

All shook up

Circumspect as a state of mind

Scratch the itch of work

Hey Rose, Hey Madder

[another blank needing filling]

Brexit now officially harder than taking a photo of a black hole

What’s that coming over the hill? Is it a cold? Please don’t be a cold

I see which side you’ll be on

Busy day of literary high jinks

Back at the desk for the first time in about 17 days

Not sure I can handle any more epic comebacks this week

The game remains the same

[insert motivational message here]

My engine of progress appears to have stalled

juggle vision

If rumours mill, what do facts do?


Sunday, January 20, 2019

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 52

BetaRish is...

Somebody remind me that saying no is a superpower also

Oh admin! Why, admin?

Happy National Poets’ Hibernation Day Eve!

It's just another way of passing the day

‘Points of failure inevitable’ seems like a good credo

Oh plans they’re nice aren’t they? #behindthedayalready

My Milkman brings the Booker to the yard

phlegm never sleeps


I’m scheduled to meet the Duchess of Gloucester later. Those of you who know my republican proclivities – please don’t laugh

Treacle day(s)

Oh so Facebook backgrounds now offering editorial comment about the state of the world

Am the spooksman for the Anti-Halloween Party

Spring appears to have made a return today

So much, and yet so little

Why doesn’t this stuff write itself?

I am King of the Procrasti Nation

One day you will wonder whether any of this made sense

If you want a different angle on t’current politics, I dreamt last night that T. May resigns this afternoon…

Oh for a life of trivialities

Well this is a cheery background upon which to contemplate end times

Winter’s waving at me

[something something WTF? something] << 2018, no?

Is there a parallel festival called ‘Gratitaking’?

Trombenik blues

Why will no one pay me to wallow in content?

I learned yesterday that there are rules about washing your caps

Don’t start your Monday with a trip to the dentist or you too might get told you might need root canal surgery

Thanks everyone for your very kind birthday wishes. Have now finished teaching for the day, so I think I’m allowed a drinky, no?

I see people are wanting unicorns again

‘Go your own way’: great song, bad diplomacy

Chance, fine thing, etc

Oh this is meant to make it better, is it?

People just do blerk

What’s that printer? You know I’m on a deadline, so stop working now? Ah thanks very much

Come on year end, I can take ya

On we go

One more push

Christmas, merry, you know the drill

Hello office, hello desk

New year’s fink

Come on gang! We’re nearly at the end of this non-week!

Well, that refreshing sleep wasn’t

9 days in and I can already feel the vein throbbing

The danger of the hereafter

And what good shall you do this day?

Your character note is…

Do you have my words?

Friday, September 28, 2018

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 51

BetaRish is...

is behind the beat

Where have all the bounders and cads gone?

Sitting in the way of control

Dream pop Thursday

Juggle push drop Juggle push drop

Oh look!

I have joined the lanyard classes

It’s coming home (but there’s a massive tailback on the North Circular)

Cat howling, fan blowing, sleep failing

But who will think of the office workers today?

Time and willpower to execute ideas > ideas

I am mostly cherries

Look for the silver lining

Oh, the air con doesn’t come on until we arrive. Right

Who remembers when it was cold, when you could sleep?

Please please tell me now

Your instinct can’t be wrong

Life and how to live it

No, Time, stop tapping me on the shoulder, it’s not like its August or anything

...but what if time skips rather than hops?

Been reminded that I hate everything to do with decorating

I keep throwing words into the well, in the hope they might echo back

Last night’s dream logic: being fired while in a country house hotel, then buying loads of Washington Redskins merch in a warehouse without a ladder but with the help of Austrian ski students, then writing a book on how supporting the Redskins brought me closer to god

Nurdle > nudge

noise noise noise signal noise noise

Management of woo

Lazer guided profanities

Oh dear lord the idiocy has begun and it is not even 9.30am yet

Hello ghosts, good to see you again

Fidget fidget widget; dig it?

Roll on, roll on

*shakes fist at sky*

Seasons is as seasons does

No one will love you in a thousand years

Nudging, nurdling, juggling – is this what progress feels like?

I suppose the world has always been on fire

For all of you toiling in the information mines today…

Time turned older now

Have managed to squirt orange juice down my shirt, sweat at client idiocy and say – out loud! – “If dick moves keep happening to you, maybe you’re the dick.” this morning so far. How’s your day going?

‘Domino Dancing’ in my head on a loop

My ego’s feeling bruised; sign up to [] and make it better

What’s in the word hoard?

And then we came to a beginning

Omnichannel poetry

Hi my name is Rishi and I’ma  book addict (looks longingly at calendar for pay day)

Personally I’m in the market for a Corporal Strike

So someone called ‘Evil’ wants to connect with me on LinkedIn how’s your day going?

I’m having Strong and Important Feelings