Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 17

BetaRish (is):

lacks transmission

is on drugs the size of dinner plates

There’s a koan for that

is experiencing a nuanced and complex hangover

is on the losing side in ‘The War of Sleepless Intrigues’

is about to be the victim of a holy visitation

is branding zebras

is part of a brand new Team

Under the tyranny of domestic appliances

is the demon you’re stuck with

And now, will you believe what we told you was true?

angles

is still rolling, and probably will be all day

will probably be apologising later to Night Garden Music

Call me Ishmael

doesn’t want to go to Amity Gardens

Mean. But accurate

has won 70-68 in the fifth

doesn’t think his heart can stand another 45 minutes like that

Mow the job of work must begin

has been caught in a metaphor

Escape is never truly possible if you’re aware of the risks

will be doubling up at Wimbledon later

Hup Holland

is watching the sunrise in Amsterdam. No, I haven’t been to bed

Has been riding a beerbike

has survived

is the man who’s stealing your sunshine

dreams of unbidden things

E-Bow the Status Update

is waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches

Melting

is the person most likely to coe (sic) top of the class

is a parody of himself

has been writing obituaries of fat men

and then we decided to wait, until we could wait no more

would be delighted if you could join him at The Lamb on Lamb’s Conduit Street tonight for some poetry from himself and the other delightful and talented members of the Artillery Arms Group

Thanks to Jacqueline Smith Kirsti Green and Alice Park for being kumquat’d last night
is blowing blasts of static

is the fourth man, once removed

is caught in a loop of his own knitting

Sentimentality is bindweed for the soft of heart

If I had known it was never going to end, I would not have started it there

Has spent most of the day with ‘Moby Dick’ (not a euphemism)

And one day I shall be cool again

Home soon

Bite me, bite me, bite me

is drowning in a sea of words, waving for a lifebelt of meaning

has survived with just one large bruise

now has an alien tattoo

Hey you

If I become me, will I even notice?

is live and direct from the scene

I know Little Italy, sir, and le me tell you: Strawberry Moon is no Little Italy

Plunder? Or Pillage? The decision is yours

is part of the truth

Hail well, kismet fellow

is po-mo a go go

is the beaten generation

is tilted

Same day. Next day. Every day.

would that it were

Stove a page of longing in his notebook today

Wistful is as wistful does

Bonjour heures supplémentaires

dreams of ribbons, on ribbons

is on sidereal time

is all cliff faces and waterfalls

November came in August

was thwarted in having breakfast with Kirsty Wear this morning. His penance will be to think about eggs benedict all day

is writing words to woo the art school girls

Devilry, thy time is now

Cardinal sins, or ordinal ones?

is lost on gin lane

Some chap called Oscar Plummer is getting married later…

In memoriam; Treason Boy Cat Esq, who died this morning

is making come hither eyes at Fate

The smart person accepts; the idiot insists

is yours &c

Welcome to the world Hannah Elizabeth Cornish and congrats to Andrew Cornish and Jo

has been transferred to harbour patrol

will always be found in the kitchen at parties

is in the best possible taste